What I'm doing is...

Living away from my life.

I feel as if I am simply a spectator. I see everyone growing, moving forward; pictures of them laughing and with people I've never had the chance to know; people I have never and will never see. People hugging them, people I'm guessing they're 'with.' I see them with people who have probably forgotten me, but I'll never forget them.

I'm not moving, and if I am, it's nowhere near them.
I always seem to be pulling in the opposite direction, and I stretch so far that I can't get back to them even though every fibre of my body tells me I need to. Maybe it's that they don't want or need me back. Maybe my purpose in people's life is short lived; a cheap candle.

I feel obliged to care, but I can't expect that back. I feel as if I owe nothing to anything; to no country, to no place, to no religion. I feel as if I owe the rest of my life to the people I'm trying to move towards.
I want out.
I need out.
If I can't get out, I'll force this place to spit me out.